Tuesday, December 23, 2008

story time with will!

Another G-Chat unleashed upon the world. Anyone want to publish these? Takers? Takers? I didn't think so. This is madness. Stay tuned for a Christmas version later today.

AT: harvey beanbag
WY: was the most beautiful of all the
AT: animal scrotums. to be specific,
WY: even though he looked like beef jerky caught in a jean-jacket-zipper, harvey had that certain je ne sais quoi, that certain "something french", I don't know, but I was certain that Harvey
AT: Oswald, Lee would have assassinated him based on his looks alone.
WY: Which were, frankly, just the worst I had seen since
AT: Cindy Crawford's beauty mark morphed in to an anus. An Anus!!! right there on that supermodel face. I was so shocked I jumped
WY: like a bunch of kids after throwing thirty seven pounds of ground meat on a landmine in the middle of
AT: the equestrian festival, lovingly called
WY: St. Peter Blasten Von Liverwurstsnausen's Day in memory of the folk hero who courageously
AT: slaughtered ponies in the Great Pony plague epidemic of 1991
WY: which, as all good Austrian children remember, was the day that the Pakistani
AT: statesman, Abraham Lincoln freed the Sikh
WY: -Loving Mongols from their bondage at the hands of
AT: hand/foot/mouth disease.
WY: But regardless, my good friend - Harvey Beanbag - taught me that
AT: you should always put a character limit on the title of your equestrian festival and
WY: never let those wiley, dirty Mongols try and stick you with
AT: made up diseases or
WY: a huge bill after an all-night bender consisting of fine cheeses and
AT: chess fines, and microcharges for several aquatic themed items such as
WY: frogmen, megladon sharks, and the leviathan (which, coincidentally,
AT: is a religious text), urchin urinals, whale vaginas, sea cucumbers, and finally
WY: those tiny little fish that you always see at vietnamese places, but they always look like they'd get stuck in your throat even if re-constituted them in the broth, but even then, you'd be eating a whole fish, which totally makes you think about
AT: how when you're eating/drinking your own body fluid...

(Unifinished, like a really good foreign film).

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